Hi Everyone~
Its been awhile but there has been so much going on. At the end of January i was in a car accident that totaled my car. The hubs was so gracious enough to let me use his car for awhile, but then his ass-hole self kicked in,and wouldn't let me use the car anymore. So since the kids had winter break and i was scheduled off that week it didn't pose a problem. That is until break was over. I couldn't get the kids to school, me to work etc. So I've been off of work since 2/25. I had to transfer the kids from the schools they've been in since we moved here to school closer to the house .They still haven't started yet because we keep getting hammered with snow storms and school keeps getting cancelled. Needless to say the hubs loves to rack chaos into my life and make things more and more difficult.
Also if you haven't noticed we are going thru a separation/divorce. He blind sided me with this news the week after my birthday. Nice guy huh. He is a good guy, this is the second time in 2 years hes done this though and its just chaos. Its been nothing but trouble. I know he has a disease but he cant keep using it as an excuse because things get tough. I have been so depressed its ridiculous. I take 2 anti-depressants, 2 sleep meds, something for anxiety. I have suffered from emotional,verbal and mental abuse for 2 years. Trust me I'm not the one wanting this, he is. But the thing about it is, is that he doesn't care , its like his feelings are on a switch.He can turn them on when things go his way, and when they aren't he turns them off. Its very hard to deal with. He gets counseling at the v.a. but as usual they only see his side of things and he isn't willing to go to couples counseling. During the kids school break there was a small domestic violence issue. He asked me a question i answered plainly ok..and he started yelling and pushed everything off the table and it hit me in the chest. I didn't call the police because that would just cause more of a problem...who knows how he would act once he was released. Yes he still lives here , why i don't know..he threatens he has other places to go but then doesn't go. RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT PEACE. ITS VERY DRAINING.
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