Hi everyone!!!!
i know its been awhile, the last post i wrote was about the rough stuff going on in the house. Im fairly confident that i want to say those are past but i dont want to say for sure. E was diagnosed with adhd with hyperactivity impulseivity on top of it so we diecided that we would try medication to see if it would help him focus and its helped some but ill see what happens if we can up it in august..hes only on 5mg but i think 10 would be ok, somedays i see that its not working as well and its almost their summer break so im hoping that we wont have too many issues there.
things have been working out well for me and the hubs. he goes to the paintball store on saturdays and works and then every other he goes and plays. hes been able to fix guns at the field and also when hes at the store, and he also in between games he is selling things so its good. it gives him a way to relieve the stress of his work week. its been a good outlet for him.
we havent had many date nites as hes either been on a road trip or i work at nite , then with him doing paintball on saturdays and most sundays i work so it doesnt leave to much time, and when i have days off its usually during the week so its not to easy to go out at nite when he has been working hard all day lately in the heat!
As many of you know this weekend is fathers day....we are going to brian's dads house for a bbq, it should be fun it will be us and then his dad and laurie and then his sis jenn and her kids and her bf and his son, and then a few others, so at least the kids will have plenty of people to play with. while we are there with them we will be celebrating brian's and his sister nikki's birthday as brians is the 24th and nikkis is the 26. should be a good time.
i made brian and his dad almost identical father's day gifts, brian's dads shirt says "worlds greatest grandpa hands down" and there is a space between the words and you paint the kids hands on. brians says the same thing but dad of course. then i got him one other shirt and a pair of shorts and for his bday a pair of shorts and 2 more shirts, he has worn some of his good shirts to work so hes got a dwindleing supply of nice things to wear out :/
on his actual birthday i got a sitter so i can take him to dinner and maybe a movie without the kids. we never do much kid free. i think i can count like 5 times since 2007.
other than that we are just spending time as a family and working. when lame things arent crapping out like the washer ( today) and then my cell phone the other day ..sheesh
hope this finds you all wellll!!!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
When life throws a curveball
Hi
Things arent going well in my household. they feel like they are spiraling out of control. I may have stated in some previous post that my husband has ptsd panic/anxiety. hes been diagnosed since springtime. well in the fall things started taking a weird turn. out of no where he said he wanted a divorce. i was beyond shocked. After a few days of going around about stuff and an intervention of sorts, he started counseling. he agreed and said he stayed and proceeded to give me a list of things he wanted . he basically wants me to prove to him that things can and will be different. i thought we have been making progress, ive started the ball rolling on some of the things he asked as they are legal things that take some time and arent ever immidiate.(hes known these things the entire time we have been together, and apparently they have bugged him the whole time and just recently he brings them up and wants something done, and my thinking says for 5 years this is bothered you and your just now saying something? he of course doesnt think ive started to do anything about it and thinks im lying about it.) then on jan 3 he started talking about divorce again, so of course my tears anxiety and panic come out , i cant function i cant breathe i hyperventilate. when i try and talk to him about not giving up he just says no and the only reason he contacts me is because he wants to talk about it and i dont. my heart is devestated. i dont want my family obliterated. he asks me what i want and i say my husband and family. i feel desperate, as i cant support us very well on my income. he has always made more than me. he also thinks ive been ungrateful for the things hes done for our family. He sold his motorcycle to help our family so we could get a house in washington, but it never worked out there. when we moved to the east coast he got rid of his truck without being asked because 1 it wasnt a very good snow vehicle, but i felt bad about it and didnt want him to get rid of it, he said he made a huge mistake. he had camaro also in washington that we couldnt move 3 cars here so he sold it. he recently started aquiring handguns for his hobbie of target shooting, he says he may have to sell those. i really dont ask him to do these things. He also says the reason he doesnt ask me to go along is because the few previous times i complained. Ive asked him to give me the opportunity to try again, he said it makes him leary to do it because he thinks it will be the same. i dont know whats going to happen, im hoping we can repair this relationship. He is so important and changed my life completely. he said he doesnt feel appreciated or that its true.but it so is. i love him with everything i am.
another source of contention is the kids, one possibly has add/adhd and hes really difficult to deal with and he makes the 4 year old act out or causes him to scream for no reason,we both become annoyed with the behavior. we both are annoyed that we are around them all the time with no break, we have no opportunity to have a break and go out together as we dont have family help or any friends here. we moved here for family help, and we dont get it. we realize we should have stayed in washington regardless he didnt have these symptoms, he could have all the things hes given up. he could make tons of extra money. ive said lets go back he says its just to much of a hassle. i dont know what or where we go from here but hopefully we conquer this hurdle together. hes my life.
Things arent going well in my household. they feel like they are spiraling out of control. I may have stated in some previous post that my husband has ptsd panic/anxiety. hes been diagnosed since springtime. well in the fall things started taking a weird turn. out of no where he said he wanted a divorce. i was beyond shocked. After a few days of going around about stuff and an intervention of sorts, he started counseling. he agreed and said he stayed and proceeded to give me a list of things he wanted . he basically wants me to prove to him that things can and will be different. i thought we have been making progress, ive started the ball rolling on some of the things he asked as they are legal things that take some time and arent ever immidiate.(hes known these things the entire time we have been together, and apparently they have bugged him the whole time and just recently he brings them up and wants something done, and my thinking says for 5 years this is bothered you and your just now saying something? he of course doesnt think ive started to do anything about it and thinks im lying about it.) then on jan 3 he started talking about divorce again, so of course my tears anxiety and panic come out , i cant function i cant breathe i hyperventilate. when i try and talk to him about not giving up he just says no and the only reason he contacts me is because he wants to talk about it and i dont. my heart is devestated. i dont want my family obliterated. he asks me what i want and i say my husband and family. i feel desperate, as i cant support us very well on my income. he has always made more than me. he also thinks ive been ungrateful for the things hes done for our family. He sold his motorcycle to help our family so we could get a house in washington, but it never worked out there. when we moved to the east coast he got rid of his truck without being asked because 1 it wasnt a very good snow vehicle, but i felt bad about it and didnt want him to get rid of it, he said he made a huge mistake. he had camaro also in washington that we couldnt move 3 cars here so he sold it. he recently started aquiring handguns for his hobbie of target shooting, he says he may have to sell those. i really dont ask him to do these things. He also says the reason he doesnt ask me to go along is because the few previous times i complained. Ive asked him to give me the opportunity to try again, he said it makes him leary to do it because he thinks it will be the same. i dont know whats going to happen, im hoping we can repair this relationship. He is so important and changed my life completely. he said he doesnt feel appreciated or that its true.but it so is. i love him with everything i am.
another source of contention is the kids, one possibly has add/adhd and hes really difficult to deal with and he makes the 4 year old act out or causes him to scream for no reason,we both become annoyed with the behavior. we both are annoyed that we are around them all the time with no break, we have no opportunity to have a break and go out together as we dont have family help or any friends here. we moved here for family help, and we dont get it. we realize we should have stayed in washington regardless he didnt have these symptoms, he could have all the things hes given up. he could make tons of extra money. ive said lets go back he says its just to much of a hassle. i dont know what or where we go from here but hopefully we conquer this hurdle together. hes my life.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New Years Everyone!
Happy New Year everyone!
Heres to hoping everyone gets what they want this year! Please remember to be safe and if you go out please call a cab or have a driver!
One thing im hoping for this new year is that we find a bigger place to live and we have great luck this year as opposed to 2010 we had some good runs of bad luck!
See you all in the new year...with some new posts. E's birthday is one of them!
STAY SAFE!
Heres to hoping everyone gets what they want this year! Please remember to be safe and if you go out please call a cab or have a driver!
One thing im hoping for this new year is that we find a bigger place to live and we have great luck this year as opposed to 2010 we had some good runs of bad luck!
See you all in the new year...with some new posts. E's birthday is one of them!
STAY SAFE!
Friday, December 24, 2010
merry christmas
Hi Everyone!
Merry Christmas from our family to yours! hope you guys have a fantastic day spent with family and friends!
Merry Christmas from our family to yours! hope you guys have a fantastic day spent with family and friends!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Going on 48 hrs of Hell!
Hi all~
We are going on 48 hrs of hell. to be blunt about it. It all started tuesday nite. I was here waiting for the hubs to get home and was ready for work and the kids were playing. We live in an apt and its small, so sometimes if the neighbor is home (he lives above us) you can hear the water running, like if he turns his sink on or flushes his toilet etc. So i was hearing water and i was like sheesh, but then it sounded like a waterfall, or a rippling brook. BUT IT WASNT!!!! i go to where i think the sound is coming from..towards the laundry room. so at first im thinking the water hose from the washer came off or something, but no it couldnt be that simple. It was the water heater/tank. Water was coming out all over the place. i ran back to the living room and grabbed the phone and tried to call the hubs, but he didnt answer so i ran out the front door to the neighbors to get the emergency maintenance #. So i call the emergency maintenance # and identify where we live etc and tell him whats going on and he says and i quote" can you call me back in 10 minutes?" Im thinking "SERIOUSLY?" so i go back to the neighbors and see if she can keep the kids and in the meanwhile without my knowledge the property management company calls my husband to ask him if i know how to shut the water off. He has no clue as to what has transpired at all. The neighbor tells me a maintenance man is working on site in #7 redoing it so maybe he can get the water off. He comes over and he sees the mass flooding going on and goes into the laundry room and proceeds to locate the shut off which is AT THE CEILING!! how is someone my height going to reach that, and why wouldnt it be where someone can reach it? But the damage is done the entire house is flooded, and im not kidding about 90 gallons of water all over the house, wall to wall in both bedrooms and about half way into the living room. The maintenance guy that was on site proceeded to call the emergency guy and said you need to get a bigger shop vac and a mop. He starts to shop vac etc but its everywhere. What a pain. Of course this would happen to us. a week before xmas. the kids gifts were in our room and they were in bags but who knows how bad their packages are damaged. The property management co called the hubs and stated to him " you need to elevate your stuff" he yelled back into the phone " you have to elevate the entire apartment!" This wasnt boding well for his panic/anxiety issue. To top it all off he was scheduled to go to Maine for work on wednesday thats why he was freaking out more. Plus he knew he wasnt going to be around and that i had to work wednesday nite so it wasnt helping. So that nite they shop vac'ed as best they could and had some blowers going and then came the next morning and replaced the water heater, cleaned and mopped and we were waiting on the pro carpet co..which didnt show up before i had to go to work. they also brought in some de-humidifiers...but the smell is horrid..it smells musty etc Tomorrow they are going to bring in more blowers to try and help it out. This is just what we need. UGGH we need to win the lottery or something. bring us some good luck for a change
We are going on 48 hrs of hell. to be blunt about it. It all started tuesday nite. I was here waiting for the hubs to get home and was ready for work and the kids were playing. We live in an apt and its small, so sometimes if the neighbor is home (he lives above us) you can hear the water running, like if he turns his sink on or flushes his toilet etc. So i was hearing water and i was like sheesh, but then it sounded like a waterfall, or a rippling brook. BUT IT WASNT!!!! i go to where i think the sound is coming from..towards the laundry room. so at first im thinking the water hose from the washer came off or something, but no it couldnt be that simple. It was the water heater/tank. Water was coming out all over the place. i ran back to the living room and grabbed the phone and tried to call the hubs, but he didnt answer so i ran out the front door to the neighbors to get the emergency maintenance #. So i call the emergency maintenance # and identify where we live etc and tell him whats going on and he says and i quote" can you call me back in 10 minutes?" Im thinking "SERIOUSLY?" so i go back to the neighbors and see if she can keep the kids and in the meanwhile without my knowledge the property management company calls my husband to ask him if i know how to shut the water off. He has no clue as to what has transpired at all. The neighbor tells me a maintenance man is working on site in #7 redoing it so maybe he can get the water off. He comes over and he sees the mass flooding going on and goes into the laundry room and proceeds to locate the shut off which is AT THE CEILING!! how is someone my height going to reach that, and why wouldnt it be where someone can reach it? But the damage is done the entire house is flooded, and im not kidding about 90 gallons of water all over the house, wall to wall in both bedrooms and about half way into the living room. The maintenance guy that was on site proceeded to call the emergency guy and said you need to get a bigger shop vac and a mop. He starts to shop vac etc but its everywhere. What a pain. Of course this would happen to us. a week before xmas. the kids gifts were in our room and they were in bags but who knows how bad their packages are damaged. The property management co called the hubs and stated to him " you need to elevate your stuff" he yelled back into the phone " you have to elevate the entire apartment!" This wasnt boding well for his panic/anxiety issue. To top it all off he was scheduled to go to Maine for work on wednesday thats why he was freaking out more. Plus he knew he wasnt going to be around and that i had to work wednesday nite so it wasnt helping. So that nite they shop vac'ed as best they could and had some blowers going and then came the next morning and replaced the water heater, cleaned and mopped and we were waiting on the pro carpet co..which didnt show up before i had to go to work. they also brought in some de-humidifiers...but the smell is horrid..it smells musty etc Tomorrow they are going to bring in more blowers to try and help it out. This is just what we need. UGGH we need to win the lottery or something. bring us some good luck for a change
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tis the Season
Hi Everyone~
Sorry for such a lapse in posts but i have been busy working at nite and weekends and trying during the days to catch up on stuff around the house and doing things like going to conferences. Things are just busy. The hubs is working hard during the day and i am working hard at nite. The kids are doing well in school. Its also been bitterly cold here on the east coast, so outdoor activities are limited. Last weekend we finally had a day off together and went grocery shopping and then we got our christmas tree. Its gorgeous. we picked a good one this year. We came home and unloaded everything and put the tree up. Pics will come soon. We also are done xmas shopping for the kids. I have a few things in mind for the hubs tho. You may recall that we got a dusting of snow on my birthday which was nov. 8. We havent had any since then or even a hint of some, even though the temps were down in the teens and 20's. Well last weekend we had temps in the 40's and 50's. It was balmy even. I keep wondering when we are going to get some snow , its just so yucky to look outside. Well it was raining sunday and into monday but they said the temps would drop and it would turn to snow..Weeeee! i was pumped and was hoping. Well as i left for work it was pouring down rain...then sometime it the temps did drop, and it turned to snow. You can still see grass and its kind of falling now as i type but i want the snow that you can build a snow man, have a snowball fight, or even go sledding. I hope it happens soon! Well off to do more laundry and try to relax another work nite for me!
Sorry for such a lapse in posts but i have been busy working at nite and weekends and trying during the days to catch up on stuff around the house and doing things like going to conferences. Things are just busy. The hubs is working hard during the day and i am working hard at nite. The kids are doing well in school. Its also been bitterly cold here on the east coast, so outdoor activities are limited. Last weekend we finally had a day off together and went grocery shopping and then we got our christmas tree. Its gorgeous. we picked a good one this year. We came home and unloaded everything and put the tree up. Pics will come soon. We also are done xmas shopping for the kids. I have a few things in mind for the hubs tho. You may recall that we got a dusting of snow on my birthday which was nov. 8. We havent had any since then or even a hint of some, even though the temps were down in the teens and 20's. Well last weekend we had temps in the 40's and 50's. It was balmy even. I keep wondering when we are going to get some snow , its just so yucky to look outside. Well it was raining sunday and into monday but they said the temps would drop and it would turn to snow..Weeeee! i was pumped and was hoping. Well as i left for work it was pouring down rain...then sometime it the temps did drop, and it turned to snow. You can still see grass and its kind of falling now as i type but i want the snow that you can build a snow man, have a snowball fight, or even go sledding. I hope it happens soon! Well off to do more laundry and try to relax another work nite for me!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wow Its been crazy around here!
Hi all!
Wow this month is flying by.. for sure. As some or all of you may know i started a new job. My orientation was on the 16th and it was 7 hrs long. That day i got my schedule till dec 3. The rest of that week i only worked till 9pm, then i was off the weekend, and that monday i started my 5-1230 am shift. OMG i felt like a zombie the next morning. I came home changed and went to bed. I must confess..i hate not being able to go to bed with my husband. Even though he may have just gone to bed at 11-1130 its still not the same. Technically we close at 12 am and then we have to wait while the 3rd shift rings up any snacks drinks etc( as its the last opportunity) so we can clock out at 12:25. This is far different than what they told me at orientation. they told us the latest you get out is 12:10. It takes me about 10 minutes to get home. I usually come in put my stuff down, grab my stuff , go to the bathroom and get in bed. After the first few days i have done ok getting up the next morning. And i usually take a nap during the day so as to not be so tired. I was off the wed prior to thanksgivng and thanksgiving. Then I had to work BLACK FRIDAY, granted i worked a 5- 1230 shift but they swore that it would be chaos during the day and that we would be dead at nite. um not so much! Apparently people are used to the sale being over at 11 am not lasting till midnite so after 11 am it slowed way down. so they sent people home early etc. well that caused issues for us nite people and on top of that people called in so there was like 4 cashiers and then people in their various departments. it was madness!
I worked the weekend 12-9. I came home early sunday as at about 300pm i started feeling horrible, i had eaten before i went to work, but they had given us some candy one thing i did eat was a white chocolate candy cane hershey kiss, i hate hate hate white chocolate so i dont know if that started it or what. I asked if there was anything i could do that didnt deal with being on a register or people. it just felt like i was getting worse. It felt like my insides were going to fall out. it was a stabby crampy feeling in my tummy. No it wasnt that time of the month i had already had that. it was excruciating pain. i was feeling like crap. from not eating , not sure but i was having bouts of being hot then cold. they sent me to lunch early and i couldnt eat the food i brought i kept running to the bathroom thinking i was going to vomit. ( sorry gross i know) they had me do meaning less jobs that had me away from people. They had me jump on really quick to ring one person up so i did and then this lady could clearly see that i was closed got in line so i had to ring her up so after she spent 400$ and i was waiting on her she was so slow doing her debit card, i almost passed out. i went and sat down and they sent me home at 6pm.so i didnt miss to much work but gosh i havent felt that bad in a long time. i sipped some chicken broth and ate some crackers and that was it and yesterday i ate a bagel and then ate dinner and drank water most of the day. Today i feel a bit better , so i dont know. I called the dr and they said if it changed or got worse i needed to be seen as it could be my appendix. way to freak someone out. Plus it helped that i was off yesterday today and tomorrow and i work thurs, fri ,sat and sun. Sat will be nice as its only 9-2.
In other news im taking E to the dr on the 1st to see about him having add/adhd. He is having some troubles in school , disturbing others, is fidgety, at home hes very defiant and is having meltdowns and ripping homework up so hopefully if they give him some meds it may help him out. Hopefully this weekend we will get a tree. i cant wait to have more time with the hubs and kids. granted sunday i work 1-10 :(
I hope this finds you all well.
Wow this month is flying by.. for sure. As some or all of you may know i started a new job. My orientation was on the 16th and it was 7 hrs long. That day i got my schedule till dec 3. The rest of that week i only worked till 9pm, then i was off the weekend, and that monday i started my 5-1230 am shift. OMG i felt like a zombie the next morning. I came home changed and went to bed. I must confess..i hate not being able to go to bed with my husband. Even though he may have just gone to bed at 11-1130 its still not the same. Technically we close at 12 am and then we have to wait while the 3rd shift rings up any snacks drinks etc( as its the last opportunity) so we can clock out at 12:25. This is far different than what they told me at orientation. they told us the latest you get out is 12:10. It takes me about 10 minutes to get home. I usually come in put my stuff down, grab my stuff , go to the bathroom and get in bed. After the first few days i have done ok getting up the next morning. And i usually take a nap during the day so as to not be so tired. I was off the wed prior to thanksgivng and thanksgiving. Then I had to work BLACK FRIDAY, granted i worked a 5- 1230 shift but they swore that it would be chaos during the day and that we would be dead at nite. um not so much! Apparently people are used to the sale being over at 11 am not lasting till midnite so after 11 am it slowed way down. so they sent people home early etc. well that caused issues for us nite people and on top of that people called in so there was like 4 cashiers and then people in their various departments. it was madness!
I worked the weekend 12-9. I came home early sunday as at about 300pm i started feeling horrible, i had eaten before i went to work, but they had given us some candy one thing i did eat was a white chocolate candy cane hershey kiss, i hate hate hate white chocolate so i dont know if that started it or what. I asked if there was anything i could do that didnt deal with being on a register or people. it just felt like i was getting worse. It felt like my insides were going to fall out. it was a stabby crampy feeling in my tummy. No it wasnt that time of the month i had already had that. it was excruciating pain. i was feeling like crap. from not eating , not sure but i was having bouts of being hot then cold. they sent me to lunch early and i couldnt eat the food i brought i kept running to the bathroom thinking i was going to vomit. ( sorry gross i know) they had me do meaning less jobs that had me away from people. They had me jump on really quick to ring one person up so i did and then this lady could clearly see that i was closed got in line so i had to ring her up so after she spent 400$ and i was waiting on her she was so slow doing her debit card, i almost passed out. i went and sat down and they sent me home at 6pm.so i didnt miss to much work but gosh i havent felt that bad in a long time. i sipped some chicken broth and ate some crackers and that was it and yesterday i ate a bagel and then ate dinner and drank water most of the day. Today i feel a bit better , so i dont know. I called the dr and they said if it changed or got worse i needed to be seen as it could be my appendix. way to freak someone out. Plus it helped that i was off yesterday today and tomorrow and i work thurs, fri ,sat and sun. Sat will be nice as its only 9-2.
In other news im taking E to the dr on the 1st to see about him having add/adhd. He is having some troubles in school , disturbing others, is fidgety, at home hes very defiant and is having meltdowns and ripping homework up so hopefully if they give him some meds it may help him out. Hopefully this weekend we will get a tree. i cant wait to have more time with the hubs and kids. granted sunday i work 1-10 :(
I hope this finds you all well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)