An Update on the happenings with M...

Hi Everyone!

Things have just been crazy here since the end of September! Well let me give you some background. On September 8th i took M to be evauluated for the preschool that is within the school district. He walked in and didnt even look back, unlike his brother when i did it with him he hid behind me and hardly co-operated. M wanted to go to school. Soon the eval was over and they told me that they had to set up a meeting to get the results...so we had to wait till September 22 to get those. Well i went into the meeting expecting them to say that he qualified etc. Which he does but they also said that they saw something wrong with his eyes, and that they wanted him to have the pediatrician just look at them the next time i took him.So now that he qualified for the preschool they deemed that he would go 3 days a week for 2.5 hrs a day. He would get speech and the ot specialist would monitor him in class but thats about it. They are kind of fast tracking him since he will be going to kindergarten in the fall. Speech i can understand because some words you simply cannot understand. They said they would add more days if need be but they wanted to have him get in and get him going before they change anything.So M was going to start the following monday as to give them time to finish the paperwork and set up the bus. I set up an appt for the pediatrician for that week. Here on the east coast its called a physical instead of a well check but whatev! So they told me they would do a vision screen and hearing test during the appt as well as talk about what the eval for the preschool said and any concerns we had ourselves about things with him. So we go and he is getting the hearing test first, first i have to say that i didnt think he would understand what is required of him, as it was he didnt really, but then they moved onto vision and he passed that. The dr wasnt to concerned about the eval and thought that he would be fine but thought that maybe they should be requiring him to go 5 days since he would go to kindergarten. M has asthma and respitory airway disease, we didnt find this out till he was like 1 but we only found out since he kept getting croup really bad and the drs kept saying it was just a cold. I dont see M as being behind in any way that people would think he needs speech and stuff , but hes stayed home with me from Jan 2009 till he started the preschool this past sept. The kids used to go to daycare full time and i worked full time but pulled them out when i found out the provider was abusing them. So also at the dr appt he got his kindergarten shots and the dr noticed the thing with his eyes and because to them he failed the hearing test referred him to a specialist and to the eye dr for them to check his eyes. So thats when i started freaking out. What do you mean something is wrong with his eyes? What do you mean he failed the hearing test..so what does he have hearing loss is he deaf ? what the eff is going on? They were surprised he heard anything since he had a mild ear infection in his right ear. but they said he didnt hear anything on the left..but again i didnt think he would get what they wanted him to do. So off we went to the eye dr. Not to scary as what i thought he did fine, ends up he is farsighted and needs glasses. Then off to the hearing specialist, they do the tests etc ask a bunch of questions, but they say that the testing at the peds office isnt really reliable because they dont really know how to test the kids or get them to do what needs to be done for the test.

So you can imagine after weeks of freaking out and the panic that insues when you hear something may be physically wrong with your child, the relief that he has NO hearing loss and wearing glasses isnt a big deal. He actually likes his glasses and loves going to school and loves that he gets to ride the bus. He loves that he got to have a halloween party at school and that he is so proud when he brings home papers he does and shows them to us and hangs them on the fridge!

Yes some days are a chore like any day, with kids and school, he sometimes doesnt want to go when he wakes up but when the bus gets here hes ready. AND I get to have 2.5 hrs of peace and quiet in my house with no one but me in it. So i use it to watch my shows on the dvr, laundry, dishes,etc , stuff that takes longer or gets messed up when i do it with everyone here!

Hard Knocks..

Hi Everyone~

Sorry for the lapse in posts, but life has dealt us some hard knocks lately. We are trying to deal with those, so other things are falling to the way side. We are trying to deal with some major medical issues with M who is 4. We are getting calls about specialists etc so im constantly on the phone. We are also trying to just deal with normal every day issues. Homework, dishes, laundry, etc.

This is one of the hardest months for me, because my mother died this month..so we have the anniversary of her death.

The best part of this month is that its the month that my oldest son was born! He will be 16 this year so i will have a post dedicated to him!

AND this month is HALLOWEEN!! wahoo i love halloween! i dont know what the kids are going to be yet but we have a few to figure it out. Sorry this is short but i have to run some errands and do somethings before M comes home from preschool.

Coping....

Hi there All!

I realize i didnt write last week, as i had planned but somethings came up and it kind of took the wind out of my sails. As you know, or may not know i have a daughter that died at birth. I wrote this about her http://piecesofthepepins.blogspot.com/2010/04/very-hard-but-special-weekend.html
When she passed the hospital gave us a memory box. In it is all of the braclets we both had, the blankets, hats etc that they used or had for her. Its been at my moms in michigan because when i got divorced i moved back there and everything i had was there. After my mom passed we couldnt find it at all. I was paranoid. The only memories of my baby girl were gone. Well my mom sneaky as she could be had put it away where it wouldnt get tossed or misplaced. it was in her closet.Thank heavens.Its all i had besides the things in my head and the flashbacks ( trust me i can see every second of that day in my head!) So not long ago my siblings had come upon it and sent it my way. Ever since then i put it in a box in my room as it doesnt get misplaced. It includes not only the things listed above but they took her hand and foot prints, her measurements and we also clipped some of her curly black hair..she had tons you couldnt even tell we did it. I have some pics of her gravesite at the cemetary. Being 21 when i lost her i couldnt afford a headstone, and knew i wouldnt be able to any time in the near future so my mother built a flower box and planted mums in it and then had an angel statue in the center. she also got one of those yard stakes ( the kind you can hang flags or bird feeders from) and found a wind chime that had angels and thats how we marked her spot. i was grateful to her for going there and doing this but she really couldnt understand what i was going thru as she had never lost a child. Well some of you may find this creepy but at the time of michaela's birth the hospital has a group of people that help you when you loose a child. They came in and were with us after she was born. Stayed with us as we held her and tried our hardest to say our goodbyes to this precious girl that we had waited for for 9 months. My dad was in the same state at the time and came as soon as i called and it was very hard for him to see and deal with. After all i was his baby and i was having to say goodbye to my baby. Well you know how you get hospital photos. They do take them even if they child has passed. SHe just looks like she is sleeping. I also had a girlfriend who came up to the hospital and took private photos for us, as she knew what i was experienceing as she had a daughter pass away at 7 months.

I havent seen the pics in years. As i have stated the first 5 years were a killer for me and then it got slowly easier. This year was tough as she would be 13 and no doubt have "bieber fever" ( trust me i would have loved it!!) Well the only ones who had seen the photos besides me, and my mom was my grandmother ..she too had lost a child. Well my grandmother died 1 year and 8 days after my mom. My aunts were the ones in charge of boxing up all of my grandma's things and clearing the hosue etc. Well my aunt is moving and is going thru stuff and had found a box that was my grandmother's things that she has put off going thru. In this box was birth and death certificates( her and my mother did geneology of my grandfathers family so they did have a lot of records) and baby books etc.

Well in this box was an envelope and my aunt who had lost a baby to placenta previa and never saw her baby thought they were pics of him and they werent they were the pics of michaela. The one hospital photo, the pics of her being weighed. me holding her. Again they were never meant for every one. At her funeral we had an open casket but she wasnt yucky too look at she just looked like a baby sleeping. she wasnt purple ,blue or any other color she just looked pink and like she was asleep. My mother wouldnt have done that too me or my siblings as they would have been traumatized forever. SO after looking at them and being traumatized she messages me on facebook and tells me she found them and needed my address to send them. I apologized to her for traumatizing her but explained they were never for everyone. She told me i had to promise not to meltdown when i got them, thats not what she wanted to happen.

Well i got them last tuesday. I ripped the envelope open and stood there and looked, hiding them from brian, as he doesnt really understand it, and the one pic i did have here said he was bothered looking at it. I have to say i did get a little teary at first sight. I came into my room got her memory box out and looked over everything and then placed her pics inside so they wouldnt be lost. Then that nite, really not knowing why i went into my room and took the box out again and looked at everything. touching and holding everything she touched. all the while looking at her pictures. It was like i was torturing myself, why because when i saw her again i truly missed her like it had just happened all over again. Loosing a child is never easy. i called my sister and was sobbing and she said nothing against me but maybe i shouldnt have them because look what it does to me. But she knew its all ill ever have of her. I've had to make my self not go back and keep looking at them. i just had the meltdown tuesday and havent looked again, but it does take some recovery time. I would never want someone i know to experience a loss like that its heart wrenching and devestating. And anything can bring that pain back to the surface i have realized.

In other news i went for an interview for the job in the school district. It went well but as i havent heard and school starts tuesday there i dont think i got it. Oh well back to the drawing board! We toured a preschool and it was great and where we would want M to go if i get a day job or school job. Speaking of M its almost his birthday! He will be 4!!!! OMG.

well thats all for today folks! Have a great monday!

OMG! Time flies when your having fun!

Happy Friday ..wait its FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!

I cant believe it! sometimes im superstitious but im laying low today so as to not drum up anything unwanted!

As the post say time flies when your having fun! we have had a great summer and celebrated our anniversary and now its onto M's 4th birthday! and ive finally submitted everything for the "new " job im hoping to get. Its a secratarial position but its 25 hrs and it works with the kids schedules and leaves the evenings open for dinners bath homework family time, and also for the hubs to take overtime if offered with out having to worry about getting a sitter.

We are looking to get M into a preschool thats full time, there is one down the street but its 160$ per week, you have to put a week down as a deposit but then they want you to pay for the month in advance within two weeks. Really? REALLY?!!! who has that kind of money lying around. yes they are on the same schedule as the district so all the days off vacations etc that the older kids have he would have. Which would be awsome, since i would be working for a school and they would be in school its the perfect job for a mom since you would have the same days/vacations/snow days off! But 680$ is a bit spendy for preschool for all day. There is another preschool and its at a daycare center and its 170$ and we can pay by the week. i am hoping to make a bit more money than i was making at my part time job that i barely got 12 hrs the month of june at but heres to hoping!

We would like to be able to save some money. we were doing fine once we moved here affording rent and car payments and food and stuff, and to go out and then we had some glitches in early spring..april- may that set us back and we havent really recovered. and then we had summer guests so we havent been able to sock away money. with this new job im hoping we will. we would like to buy a house. we have a pre-approval already and we just havent found the right thing, but with hopefully more money we can get a house and a newer car and be able to put money away, and maybe things will start looking up. the baby thing has never been completely ruled out but im going to be 35 in the fall so i dont want to hold off, sheesh if when this all was agreed to two years ago i would have been almost 32 and things would be fine id have had or been pregnant by now and this subject would be closed. so maybe if this job happens and we can pay for M's schooling and put money away we can get the things we want and pay our bills and still have a bit of spending money.

and to top it off E goes into second grade!i cant believe it! he starts school on the 31! i would have never known. we have yet to start a school year here. we came east once school had started so it was just the process of enrolling him and stuff. i find it weird that they dont send anything before hand saying this is your teacher and classroom and here are the supplies . apparently here they wait till the first day to tell them , i guess depending on the weather they either have them mill about out front and the teachers call them into their line or this all happens in the gym.i think thats a lame way to do it. Back in washington at least they had a day that you could go meet your teacher, tour your class and bring all your stuff in. i think it was much easier and took the edge off. So i guess we will see.

Even though im looking forward to school starting and the house being quiet and staying clean...if i get the job it may not happen the way i want. E gets on the bus about 750-755 am. Depending on where M goes he will have to be there about 815ish and then i would have to be to work about 9 am. I would work till 2. Again depending on where M goes he gets out around 230 and E gets home at 3. So it appears that i will be getting home right before they do and then its into the evening routine. it would be different if i was home all day but that wont happen. I just hope all the transitions work well.

I usually have to deal with everything as the hubs job is usually pretty busy and he cant miss. so unless things are planned in advance he misses everything, conferences, first days, school programs. its a shame but hes kind of the newbie around his job, even though hes been doing it for 4 years. his co was bought out by another and so even though he has time in service they all basically got set back to zero when this compnay purchased his old one. so to them hes only been doing it 2 years. And plus hes the newbie here in the shop since he got a job transfer. so hes taking the overtime going in on the weekends and doing nonsense work like mowing the grass etc. he has given up requested vacation days to go on road jobs . he takes all the road jobs they offer so they dont have a reason to lay him off. After we got here we had heard some of the guys he worked with in wa got laid off so the panic really set in but i dont think its an issue with him, hes a very hard worker. and he still hasnt taken those vacation days that he had to give up for work. hes taking some upcoming days off but thats for a wedding and he already has them off and then hes taking another day off possibly since we have an inspection on our apartment because our lease is up in october.

well be safe out there fellow bloggers it is friday the 13th! and im off !

Yay! its almost the weekend!

Hi Everyone!

Yay! its thursday ...which means its almost the weekend or the beginning of mine tonite after work(boo!) This week has been hectic. Not only is the hubs out of town for work, but not only with the incident of someone backing into our car while i was at training, to back to back training and then work tonite, im ready to be done for the week. Its been really hot here and we dont have air, so we just have some fans. i have had every single door and window open in the house, to try and move the air but it wasnt working. Not only did i have the ceiling fans going in the bedrooms and the dining room i had the oscillating fans in the bedrooms and living room going non-stop. It was sweltering out. The first nite i slept just fine but last nite was a no go i think i saw every hour on the clock!

Potty training for M has been going well. he is peeing like champ! He's only pooed once and i can tell when he needs to go, he says " i cant only pee pee comes out" so cute, i think he waits for dad. I have still been putting a diaper on at bed and nap and when they have gone to the sitter, but havent ventured to not put one on at those times. All though last nite he didnt want one on at all he wanted his undies on. SO i hope we are nearing where he will be complete. Today im going to take a nap before i have to get ready for work. im exhausted. I had M sleep with me last nite since he wasnt ready to go to bed when i put them down. The hubs will be home for the weekend! i cant wait. it will be nice to have the norm. We will have a relaxing time. And im excited to be able to share more info on the preschool info i got for M for the fall! What are your plans for the weekend. Please remember to think of and support your troops!